Straight From Her.


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Pic By: Ankur Jha

I see everything now my love. I see the day you were born. I see the night in the hospital when I woke up frightened only to realize that you were the one shaking the whole bed through your cradle. You were a strong child my love. I see the day when you took your first steps. Your grand father gave sweets to all the people in our apartment. I see the places you hid while playing hide and seek, I see myself childishly counting till 50 even though I always used to peak and see where you are hiding, you lost every time, din’t you? I see the places where you spilled the milk I gave you. I see the balcony in which you so pleasingly ate all the vegetables, when I told you that, they were all potatoes. The pigeons to whom you clapped in the balcony are still my friends here, they still fly down there carrying my love for you. I now see the way you threw all the Godly Idols from our balcony, you were an avatar yourself, I am sure they forgave you for that.I see the day when you enjoyed so much playing in the water, bathing and cleaning those idols of Gods. I see the time when I put you down for a moment in the kitchen and you burnt both your palms on the pan, you were such a bundle of innocence. I see the time when you slapped your father screaming your friend’s name in your sleep, he dint sleep beside you for the whole week, you were so mischievous even in your dreams. I see all those evenings when I came back home from work and you din’t let me talk to anyone and kept pulling my face towards you. I see the first day of your school, I see how you promised me that you would be brave in front of your principal. I see how you ran away on your first day crying for me, I see how the maids were running behind, trying to catch you. I see how you loved school from the second day, you were a bright student. I see all the times you were afraid and lied to your father and spoke the truth with me, I have a confession to make. I told him everything, but after he heard the truth he forgave you every time for he loved you more than anyone. I see all the seasonal habits which you developed every summer, from skating to karate, from pottery to art. I see your frightened face when your father and I took you for your first swim. I remember the pride in your face when you overcome your fears and learned how to swim. We were so proud of you that day. I see all the vacations the three of us took, I see all those sweet innocent years pass by and I also see all those times when things got bad between me and your father. We only meant the best for you, the differences between us had nothing to do with you. I see how brave you were through those rough times. It must have been hard being an anchor for two different ships. I see how mature and ahead you were than you age. I see how good a gem you were, and then I see how abruptly me and your father had to leave you. It was not in our hands, child. There are some actions of nature one has no control over. Our time was done. I wish we could have never left you. I see how strong you were all alone down there. I see how you gave us the most paramount goodbye by being the strongest child any parent could ever ask for.

But my love, from up here now the hide and seek we play, I don’t find you anywhere, all I see now is gloom and sorrow in your life. What has gone wrong that you have fell? Get back on your feet, you will emerge stronger than ever.  I see you sinking in your loneliness, I see you abandoning the loved ones beside you. I see you disowning all the accolades you deserve. I see you as a slave when you need to be the master of your mind. Battle with yourself and emerge victorious my love, you are the bravest person I know. I see you making yourself distant from the person you love. That person seems to be the one for you, don’t let the boat sail past you. Remember my love, the greatest battles lie within. I see you in the middle of the ocean craving for the love you got from us, that is exactly the battle you have to win by finding love in an ocean of unknown. That is how me and your father found each other. Even though we loved each other very much, a day comes when every ship has to face a storm, we sailed out of it vanquishing the storm, the mast which took us to the shore were you my love. You are in the middle of a storm my child, remember that the shore can be seen even in the most violent storms, you just have to hold on tight to your mast. I am sure you will dock your ship in paradise. I miss you my child, I love you and plead you to forgive me for not being on your ship.

P.S. May my tears be waterfalls of joy in your paradise.

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